They still say...

They say man must be obedient, to the extent of being submissive. They say man must be respectful of the society around him. They say man must give in to the expectations of the bigger want. They say man must seek advice and do things that the consensus feels is right. They say man has to educate himself to the norms of the world. They say man must dance to the audience. They say man must be more tolerant to every body else's soul than his own. They say man must think to suit those who cannot think. They say man must act for the convenience of those who has never acted.

Why don't they simple say man must cease to be man?

The need for change

The Anna Hazare led anti-corruption movement is a desperate call for a need to change the way things work around in our country. While we can keep supporting this and other movements, the underlying fact is that we live in a democracy and a long-term sustainable change can only be effected if we vote more consciously when the elections come by.

I had read the following article some time back. Want to re-post it here. Do read.

The good vote banks

My two cents on Indian test side

I was disappointed with the way we lost the two tests against England. I happened to talk about it in a lecture and was invited to comment on a student's comment on FB. So posted this.

Firstly, these couple of defeats per se would have been okay, but the way we lost, I felt, was spineless. There was no fight whatsoever. They did not just win, they out-played us completely. Sure every team can lose a couple of games in a row, but the 'how' is equally important.

Secondly, what is our future looking like? Sure we are statistically at No. 1, but how strong is our side! Be it pace bowling, spin or batting, the bench strength looks very raw. Who is going to replace the likes of Sachin, Dravid and Laxman? If we do not find the answers soon, we will go the Aussie way. Difference being, they cleanly dominated other teams for more than a decade and we would struggle to do it for a couple of years. Even today, India does not look dominating or powerful enough to claim the tag of world-beaters. What has been equally important is that other teams have not been very impressive except England and SAF.

Thirdly, I am tempted to look at the statistics of test matches during the last three years. India has played 33, won 15, lost 6. Out of 15 wins, 6 have been overseas. 2 in Bangladesh, 1 each in NZ, SAF, SL and WI. Out of these NZ, Bang, WI clearly not the benchmarks for us. So it is 2 'real' away test wins. 2 away wins out of 15 wins.

The SAF test win at Durban was a horrible pitch. In a way, spinner friendly Indian track. Dhoni mentioned about it in the post-match conference that the pitch was not of international standards. It was an uneven bounce/spin track and Harbhajan made a killing. The win against SL in Colombo was a Sehwag feast. His better than run-a-ball century won it for us.

Sehwag has been a key for us in the last couple of years. Sans him, we saw what can happen to our batting line up. His blazing start was vital for middle order batsmen to come in and capitalize. I am not sure how a world-beater side is so heavily dependant on 1 batsman. Perhaps pretty much like Hayden for Aussies, but look at the way other batsmen played for them when they were No. 1. There were matches that Gilchrist, Langer or Ponting won for them.

Coming to qualitative factors, Indians on the field looked spineless and lethargic even in Windies. We did not go for the win in the last test against WI!! That is not the sign of a champion. Windies are surely not the most formidable. We gave it up there.

Sure, statistically we are No. 1, and we could even retain it by winning/drawing the next two tests. But I am not going by the ranking. Even a WC victory was not convincing for me (personally) that we are the best. I want to see fear in the opponents when they face our bowlers and their bowlers should be left with shivers when we bat. Only Sehwag has managed that. I want to see our team kill others and win some games so one-sided that opponents must be in awe. Windies did it in 70s and 80s, Auusies in 90s and the last decade. We are not yet there. Sure we may some day, but not yet.

Life's an examination?

I am starting to believe that life, somehow, tests each & every belief you have had in life about various things. For instance, if I love sweets, I happen to get so much sweets-eating-opportunities that at some point I might lose the craving for it. It is as if life looks at you & says "So dude, you love sweets huh? Lets see how much you can take it". Of course, craving for sweets is a relatively trivial issue but the same applies to every other belief, liking and disliking you have ever had.

In my case, my belief system is being constantly put to test through various situations appearing as a small little test. And I must add here, I am not faring very well here. Also, I wonder now how this new belief of mine is going to be tested!

Seven and a half learnings

As a student, taking up the CA course was not really a well deliberated decision for me. It would be incorrect to say that it was my dream to be a CA. In fact, far from it. The decision to take up this course was more by default than design. My elder cousin was doing this course and it was seen as a high Return on Investment course! Well, things went well and I did end up clearing the course in 2004. It has been 7 complete years (almost) since that eventful day.

The other day, in one of my many introspecting/reminiscing hours, I was wondering how life has shaped up since clearing CA. I could think of the following key learnings I have had over this period. Here they go...

1. Money is an important factor in life. To my mind, anyone who says money is not important is either lying or is ultra-rich. Financial security gives you a lot of space to do well in various aspects of life. In no way I am trying to imply that money is THE thing to chase, but having enough of it surely gives a lot of flexibility. Well, how much is enough is a totally different point altogether. Also, I feel earning a fair amount of money after being a CA has not been difficult. If you have a reasonable flair and grip on content, earning a lakh a month before you are 30 is not difficult at all.

2. Having a strong passion about something or having a genuine hobby is a very useful thing in keeping you happy in life. During phases when people and circumstances around you are being discomforting, your passion/hobby can see you through peacefully. It could be a sport, a game, an activity, travel, watching movies, reading books, music, anything. Anything that keeps your mind occupied and not idle.

3. Talking of mind, it is the most important part of our system I guess. Have a control on your mind, things are smooth. If not, it's havoc. Simple yet very difficult!

4. I have also learnt that our views and perceptions about things and people change over a period of time. What I believed 5 years back may not necessarily be my belief now. Things change. Change is the only constant. I know I know, it has been said a million times before.

5. We have a lot more time than what we think we have in life. There is enough time to live your life the way you want (assuming you know what you want!). We can afford to slow down, get off the rat race and relax sometimes. The important things will wait and the things that cannot wait may not be really important.

6. Love is an under-estimated concept. Even after thousand of movies and millions of exposures on it, it is still worth the time and efforts.

7. And finally, never say NEVER. I know I just did, but still!

These are my seven bits of wisdom for myself and for other takers. As always, for whatever it is worth :)

P.S. The final half bit of the learnings is that I am still so much a work in progress. Though I do not know how the finished product is supposed to be like, I am still closer to the start than finish.

Reminding myself

Today's the first day of the rest of my life...

Whilst I cannot change the past, starting today I can try and avoid the stupidities I did till yesterday or I can continue to screw up things. The choice is entirely mine and the choice is available to be exercised.

Old-fashioned, yet timeless

When was the last time you did something special for your loved one? When was the last time you surprised him/her with a gift? When was the last time you acknowledged their presence in your life? If you have LOVE around you, cherish it, nurture it, protect it. Not many are loved deeply. Not many can love too. Feel blessed if you are one. That is the GOD in our lives.

When do I grow up?

When I was a kid, I would think I could touch the moon someday. The belief was at the peak especially those days when the moon appeared bigger than normal, so it was like 'wow, it's coming closer'. As I grew older, my fetish for touching the moon evaporated.

What I did not realize is that am still the same little kid in many ways. Just that the moon has been replaced by many other things.

How, and not what

In most cases of strains or misunderstandings in any relationship, it is seldom what we say that creates the rift. It is, in most cases, the way we say it. If we watch the way we put things, even the most unpleasant things can be communicated effectively.

Taking efforts to communicate well in any relationship is a vital part of its sustenance. Or so i feel.

Simplify

If we were to see how a typical life around us goes, there are just a few instances in one's lifetime where one has to take potentially life-changing decisions. Rest of the time, the things that we do are mundane, uncomplicated stuff. Yet these mundane tasks are the ones that test our mettle. Its these little moments that define what we are and what we could be in our lifetime. Unfortunately, we end up assigning a lot of undue importance to the big moments and take the smaller ones for granted.

Life's short - made up of tiny little beautiful moments. Capture them. Live them well.

As Anton Chekhov puts it: Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

Don't fantasize!

No, I'm not veering towards what the title would suggest. I am talking of some froth we create in our minds - consciously or sub-consciously. Over the last few weeks, I have been audience to few incidents that had the same underlying theme - the disappointment of expectations not being met. Let me take few general instances here:

First: A die-hard fan of a mega superstar, who likes the star madly, desiring to meet him, goes and stands outside his house everyday from 5am till the sun decides to call it a day. Even after 10 such days of wait, the mega superstar does not turn up to meet the die-hard fan, who is presumably his greatest fan. The dejected fan goes back home and vows never to worship his hero who broke his hopes and dreams so brutally and heartlessly.

Second: A boy deeply loves a girl. He expresses his love to her. He is very sweet to her and takes good care of the girl. He wishes all the happiness in the world for the girl. He desires to marry her and keep her happy, always and forever. The girl, however, does not wish to marry him. Reasons? Irrelevant here. The boy is dejected. He feels cheated. He goes down hard on the girl and thinks of her as a heartless, brutal person who has no respect for other's feelings.

Third: A young married couple wishes the joy of parenting and wishes to bring a little bundle of joy to their lives. A baby is born to them. They are extremely delighted to have value and purpose added to their lives. The baby is well taken care of. The husband quits his job to be able to be with the growing baby who needs to be nurtured. The baby grows to become a very able adult and the parents are proud of her. She falls in love with a guy and wishes to marry him. She conveys the same to her parents. The parents are dejected and feel betrayed. Their hopes have been shattered by their daughter for whom they made so many sacrifices over many years. They decide not to be with the girl in this decision and makes it very clear that the day she marries the guy, she is out of their lives. Why? Because she is heartless and brutal who does not take care of her parents' wishes and expectations.

What is common among the three instances? Expectations have been broken. Desires have been left unfulfilled. Well, hard luck. Yeah, it is a simple case of hard luck. It is utter nonsense to put the blame on the superstar/girl/child for the state of mind of the fan/boy/parents. Sounds harsh? Well, so be it. If I expect something from someone, it is MY problem and not the other person's. Why should the other person accomodate your expectations if he/she is not happy doing it? If they are not able to see your viewpoint, fair enough. Different people dances to different music in this world. If they do not like your music, hard luck. Accept it and move on. Stop feeding sympathy to yourselves. Do it if you feel so, but do not hold the other person responsible. It is your problem and you must be the one who should take care of it.

The more unfortunate factor in all these instances is that the fan/boy/parents apparently love the superstar/girl/daughter. Unconditional love, they boast! Such unconditional love that their expectations comes much before the other person's happiness. Amazing love indeed.

To all the parents in this world, your children have a life and mind of their own. Accept it. Be with them if you indeed love them.

To all the lovers in this world, the person you love may not be be happy loving you. Accept it. Be with him/her if you indeed love him/her.

Accept things. Stop fantasizing. Everything we do for others are only because they make us happy. Everytime. Let us accept that we are selfish. Let us stop blaming others for breaking your expectations from them. Sure, feel bad that your expectations have been shattered. But do not hold anybody else responsible for it.

Me thinks..

The more I live, I realize I cannot plan to live.

Children and values

A lot has been talked about the demographic structure of India and the amazing dividends that we could reap owing to the fact that a large proportion of our population is in the productive age group. One dimension of the key to exploit such natural advantage is to ensure that the upcoming lot of younger generation is educated and skilled. Towards that, a lot is being done and a lot more promised to be done.

Personally, I am more concerned about another dimension. How and where is the value system of kids going to be cultivated and nurtured! Reason why I feel there is a lacuna here is two-fold.

Firstly, schools increasingly are money making machines these days. The entire process of education and teaching has now become more a business idea with the objective of creating knowledge-driven-weath creators rather than values-driven-productive-human beings. Money making at the cost of deteriorating values is an unwarranted scenario.

Secondly, families these days are increasingly becoming leaner and nuclear. A married couple where both partners are working professionals, staying nuclear away from their respective parents and trying to manage a full-time career is extremely productive for them. But when a child is born to them, the equation must change. What we are increasingly seeing is that the mother taking a maternity leave followed by a post-child birth sabbatical for few months (a year tops) to take care of the infant. Post the initial couple of years (where generally either set of grandparents are also present), the child is taken care by a nanny/baby sitter, sent to kindergarten, school, etc (with years passing). Now, when the child's mind is most fertile in the growing years, parents are not really available. They are, but not completely. In many cases, even the grand parents are not. So whom does the child learn the values of life from? He will surely be educated but will he grow up to become a man of strong values? In my generation, mothers generally were home makers and inculcated a lot of essential values to us. I can be sure in my case atleast.

And what do the children get exposed to when they come to home from school and wait for parents to come? Shocking television programmes, abundance of polluting information on the internet, social networking sites with hosts of online 'buddies'. 10-year olds are becoming memebers of networking sites these days and some of their status messages really shock me. Surely all this would make the kids cool, funky and street-smart but we should not complain if some of them later think that commiting a crime for money is fine or getting the latest electronic gadget for themselves must be the agenda in life.

I wonder about this for the coming generations. Should one of the parent completely devote himself/herself for the development of child in the formative years (between the age of 4 and 12 perhaps)?

Bringing a child to this world is a responsible decision. Does it end with sending the school to the best available school and coaching class? Isn't parenting a lot more than that?

Me thinks..

Compatibility, looks, age, likes/dislikes are fairly over-rated parameters in relationships, aren't they? The basic parameter must always be respect. If you cannot respect your partner, all other things would fall apart sooner or later. If men could respect women the way they must be, we would not need a Women's Reservation Bill. Stop taking your partner for granted. Mutual respect is the essence of a beautiful relationship.

Disclaimer time

The thoughts I expressed on my post on money being a mean and not the end has had many takers. The reactions have been amazing. I am extremely happy that a lot of us are inclined to think on these lines. Somehow, I feel there is a need to add some additional points (what I have called 'Disclaimers') about the thought-process and its implications.

1. I am basically only saying these things. Do I personally live by it as of now? - NO. Do I want to? - YES. Will I be able to? - I HOPE SO. Point being I do not deserve any credit for saying it. I have NOT done much on those lines. So you can well tag me as an arm-chair reformist :D

2. I have written the post after reaching a point where I am financially not constrained. I have been doing things to chase materialistic ends. Charity begins at home, isn't it? So we have to be reasonably secured ourselves before we try to go around trying to help others. When I say we, I include our family members too. They have their own set of expectations from us. We must try to adhere to them too. Balancing between the two set of 'ideologies' is a fine act to attempt.

3. Many have reacted something like this: Dude, all this is fine. What is to be done? We are not sure of it. To that I would say, surely lot has to be done and many many many around are already doing it (NGOs, Organizations, etc). I will be throwing some light on many of them on this blog going forward. May be that could help to begin with. Also remember, when the student's ready, the teacher appears (Deepak Chopra mentions this in one of his books). Once we begin to think towards an aim, everything will begin to fall in place. The paths will be relatively clearer then.

So with the air being cleared now, I can resume my musings guiltlessly.. hehe :)

Isn't money simply a mean?

Let me begin with a question. How much money is 'good enough' to leave peacefully? I realize it is an open-ended question with no possible consensus reply. But what I am trying to ask is, do we all really believe that money is merely a way of securing a peaceful life? If yes, then should we not also know how much is enough? On the other hand, if money is not the mean but the target itself, what's the target amount you are trying to reach? Is there a quantifiable answer to it?

I am fortunate enough to be at a stage of life where survival is not my main target. This is the case with a lot of people I know - my friends, my cousins, my seniors, etc. Lot of us earn substantially higher than our basic needs. Most of us also earn much above even our luzury needs that we enjoy. Most of us earn enough to take our families out for a movie or dinner few times a month. We earn enough to enjoy a couple of vacations in a year to a far-away place, away from the routine. Sure, we need money to do all this and more. Point is, many of us are earning much more than what you need to do all this. Day in and day out we are slogging out in our lives to get that higher increment or a super bonus that marginally/incrementally goes into our savings and not towards luxury spending. Saving for an uncertain future perhaps. Despite all this, I strongly feel a lot of us are giving way too much importance to money and financial safety, thinking about not just the next year or two but even 10 years and 20 years down the line. If this is how it goes, money will hypnotize us and leave us drained and dead even before we are actually dead.

I have two points to add further. First is the happiness quotient. If the money-making efforts are making you truly blissful, then half the problem is taken care of. You are not killing yourself internally for a secure future. However, is this not a rarity? Lot of us crib about not having enough time and mind-space to live for ourselves. The attempt to get 'work-life balance' has caught up in a big way among corporate executives. Clearly so, there seems to be an unhappy inner self even as the outer self is busy chasing the money targets. That, to my mind, is a problem one must address. If more money does not make you more happy on a daily basis (and not at a future unknown point in time), then we ought to change few things around.

Now, let's assume one is indeed blissful in doing things that consequently results in money being created. Case in point would be a sportsman, an actor, a painter, a musician or a CA for that matter who loves what she does. Even then, I have an inkling that there is something not-so-right. That's my second pointer. I cannot see a lot of sense in a situation where someone tries to achieve a separate room for each member of his family (by purchasing a 3BHK flat, for instance) at a time when some of them around in this world cannot afford a single small room for 10 of them put together. I am not intending to sound 'socialistic' here. Question that disturbs me is, do the money making people not think about the relatively under-privileged soceity? I am not taking anything away from people who make money. Surely they are extremly skilled and work hard to earn whatever they do. But, do they not believe that once they reach that point of security, they can then try to help somebody else around to get to security as well? Like as if we are one big family in this world and we seek & help each other out? Can we not do that more often than not? Can there be no collective efforts towards that? Or do we remain self-centered as always? Do we simply add more luxuries to our own wealth & lives, and may be end up not even enjoying them. By upgrading from a 21-inch TV to a super big Plasma, when life is so reckless & fast that we spend only a few hours in front of the TV. If that's the case, wasn't the decision to upgrade the TV just a symbolic gesture to tell the society around that you are a wealthy person and ought to be respected? TV is just an example, we could be spending our money in a lot of other ways.

I read this somewhere recently (I think it was Sri Sri Ravishankar who said this) that our education system needs to be modified to include two more things in it right from grass-root levels: a little bit about Philospohy and a little bit about Philanthropy. I totally agree. This will add a sense of perspective in our lives and see things in a different manner. We will be more compassionate and less wasteful in our attitudes.

I have asked myself how much money is 'secure' enough for my family. Working to reach that number and then trying to spread out for others is what my motto is. If you think this way of living makes sense, then ask yourself how much money is 'secure' enough for your family and their needs. Then work hard to reach a level where even 'ancilliary' works (read part-time) that does not consume all of your time will help you earn that bit. Rest of the time can be used to make this whole world a much better place. This is where education helps. A professional degree like MBBS or CA must be used to make our lives less complicated and easier. Unfortunately, we use these degrees to challenge ourselves to earn some obscenely high amount of money and screw up our own happiness in the process.

I began with a question. Let me end with a beautifully worded line that I read as the status message of one of my friends and is apt here. A perfection of means & confusion of aims seems to be our main problem.

Moment to live for

One of the best moments to cherish in life is seeing your mother unable to resist shedding tears of pride & joy when someone you look up to is praising you enormously in front of her and many others.

What say?

More on love

As a comment to my last post, I was asked by PS: "So is true love the same as unconditional love? If yes, how do you relate this post with an equally striking post of yours on unconditional love?" Thought, would reply to it as a separate post.

Firstly, I do not subscribe to the idea of unconditional love. I believe human beings are too complex a creature to do something selflessly keeping his own happiness at stake. A one-off act could be seen, but loving is hardly a short-term act. So to love without keeping his own interest in mind is too improbable. If I am in a relationship, I am in it for my own sake. So is the other person. When such self-centered interests gel with one another, it creates a lasting fulfilling relationship.

Why do I admire the man shown in the video then? It's not because I thought he was doing a selfless act or was loving unconditionally. The admiration comes from the fact that his happiness does not come by being associated with a charming outwardly good-looking girl who is highly educated, well presentable and someone who can add some 'status' to his life. I was amazed by his source of happiness. He has been able to remain content by spending ample time with the girl he loves, though she cannot reciprocate in a way most of us would expect in a relationship. Her well-being being the key factor determining his happiness is a rare sight, especially with her having gone through an unfortunate accident. That is what made me feel good about what he was doing.

Hypothetically, if he were to come upto me and talk of how much sacrifice he is doing to be with her and how he has kept his self-interest aside to take care of her, I would lose a large part of my admiration for him. What I appreciate is an acceptance that someone is in a particular situation in life because he wants to be in it. If someone starts to package it like a selfless, unconditional act, I would laugh my heart out.

So what I am effectively saying is, if Mr.A is in love with a good looking, 'socially acceptable' girl and Mr.B with someone like in the video, I would not respect B more than A for him being selfless. I would rather respect the make of his heart/soul that chooses to remain happy with something like what he is doing. Fact is, both are in the relationship because that is what makes them feel good and happy. The day that ceases, they would walk out citing one or the other reason. Rather, they should or else the relationship becomes burdensome.

P.S.1: Purely my thoughts. Don't have to be subscribed to! :)

P.S.2: I have no intention to demean the girl in the video. I do not mean that she is inferior in any way to a 'normal' girl.

Fed up

I am fed up of the money mindedness of the world around me. Everything begins and ends with monetary considerations. Decisions relating to education, career, marriage, relationships, future - all are linked primarily to financial pay-offs. There seem to be absolutely no acceptance for the unconventional/non-conformists. Life, it appears, is only about adding more moolahs to your wealth by focusing only on monetary aspects of the world. I have been asked quite a lot of times by friends and relatives as to why I have not bought a house yet. It's as if that should be the key aim in life. Get a house, a car, then a bigger house, then a more lavish car. Gosh, where does this all end! Marriages are based on financial status. Sure, money is important. But so much that you become obsessed with it? You forget your human fabric in the quest for financial dreamworld?

My fellow professor beautifully described the virus: It is always about financial and mental strengths. Moral strengths are hardly looked for. So very true. Character and the strength of your values ranks a distant third or fourth may be to your ability to amass more wealth. And then utilise that wealth for things that you never really need or use. And then, propagate the same way of living to every one around you. Crazy.

Why can't someone dance to a music that the world neither hears or understands? Why can't an individual strive to do things that he believes is right? Why must he be always judged on social norms of wealth and assets? Why should the efforts of being a genuine human being not rated as highly as efforts to create wealth? Why must things be loaded on to him without realizing his preference or core beliefs? Why must a person with lesser bank balance be seen as less successful?

The longer these crazy ways of measuring happiness exists, more difficult it would be for the younger lot to create their own set of values. We are pushing them to be stereotypes, to be followers rather than leaders. We help them to learn the tricks of making money but not the ways of growing as human beings. We includes me and I cannot hate myself more for it.

Let me share an incident here. Something that happened few weeks back and will probably chase me for the rest of my life. While returning from my trip to Kerala, a family friend with me had a very heavy bag containing stuff bought from there. They seeked the aid of a railway porter for carrying the bag. The porter who came forward was a visibly weak, 60+ years old person. I could not imagine how he would carry that bag all the way through the long series of stairs. So I offered to carry that bag and give him my light bag to him instead. To that, the family friends and parents asked me not to since it is his job to carry it. I tried to insist but gave it up to avoid creating a scene. And for the next 10-15 minutes, I cursed myself seeing the old man carry that severely heavy bag and struggling for breath. I could have forced others and took the bag myself. I could have not listened to anyone. Instead, I chose to let him carry that bag.

The face of the man and his desperation for the 50Rs. he was doing the work for makes me feel ashamed of my lack of ability to change things around. Rational, educated people look away from such 'trivial' things perhaps. And that is precisely the reason why I am starting to hate the way a lot of us are, more so myself. Selfish, self-centered pigs are all what a lot of us are.

Desires are desires

Continuing from the question on desires I had put up on a recent post and the comments I received on that, I am motivated to add more on that point.

I feel a desire is a desire. There are no good desires and bad desires. Material desires and not-so-material desires. Desires, in a spiritual sense, keeps you away from God since your mind is pre-occupied with trying to fulfill those desires. Good or bad, the nature of desires, must not matter. In fact, the very concept of good or bad is man-made. God does not judge our actions. God does not tag our deeds and put them into separate good and bad buckets. He just watches them and smiles, perhaps. I strongly feel that the closest we can get to purity is by being non-judgemental. Judging things around us and classifying them as good and bad is humane. As much as it is difficult to avoid judging things, we must strive to get there I believe.

So, taking the same point ahead, desires cannot be tagged good or bad. They just are means of keeping our thoughts on worldly things. Ideally, if a spiritual leader is truly spiritual, I would think he would not have any wishes or desires. He simply observes and spreads rays of happiness to those around him. Happiness, not in a material way. Happiness, not by making poor less poorer. Happiness, not by giving out alms and charity. Happiness, by making people FEEL happy, joyful and calm. That is the essence of a true spiritual leader. Mind you, such leader could be your parent, your best friend, a cousin or a neighbour as well.

For me, a desire of not having desires is also a desire. For me, I would love to be just see things as they are. I would love to have a third party approach to everything happening around me. I would want to believe that I do not necessarily influence things. They just are as they must be. I would want to simply be calm no matter what happens around me. For others looking at me, that would imply laziness and lack of initiative. For me, I would choose to smile, perhaps!

I have just put down my thoughts on this point. This does not obviously imply that I do not have desires or I have already adopted a third-party approach to life. What I meant is to try and reach there somehow, someday.