June 30, 2009

No one to blame but me

These days, my google talk status message reads: With each day passing, I'm screwing up the opportunity to make a difference.

This has been the case for months now. I am sitting on a pile of deliverables, both personal and otherwise. Each day I think today's when I will clear them. Umpteen days have evaporated like that. I have become a lazy, procrastinating pig. Hate it.

There is so much to do beyond my scope of activities to make a difference. There are NGOs waiting for resources and hands to help them. I know them. Yet I am not doing anything. Each day there are moments or people that kick me saying you ought to do those things soon. Yet I am not doing anything. Of course, I blog and preach and blabber and talk. Armchair renaissance.

It is as if there are two mes! One who sleeps and one who thinks. Need a third one who acts. How? I wonder. Till the time I realize how, I'll keep screwing up the opportunities and time.

I truly, really, deeply need a stroke of inspiration. And soon, lest I become a desperate loser :)

June 29, 2009

Sort of come-back?

I have been missing from this world for a while now. Long enough for people to ask whether I have stopped blogging. Long enough for people to wait for my next post. I must say I'm flattered when someone asks me when is my next post coming. While I write to please myself, added adulations from the readers are always welcome. This post is really about nothing. Just to break the jinx of not writing for a while. Also, wanted something for the month :)
A thought has been lingering in my mind. Thought will put it up here. Can a blog really influence minds? Let me be more specific. Does my blog influence minds? I believe to think it does not. Yet there is this eery feeling I get sometimes that it does. Because if it does, the next thought is do I need to be careful about what I write? If yes, will it not kill the essence of this being a personal space?
Apart from these stupid thoughts, nothing else is cooking up in mind. I cannot seem to think through my work. As if I have lost that skill that existed some time. An over-dose of lectures are killing a part of me too. Hoping that this post actually breaks the jinx and starts the flow again.