November 29, 2009

Fed up

I am fed up of the money mindedness of the world around me. Everything begins and ends with monetary considerations. Decisions relating to education, career, marriage, relationships, future - all are linked primarily to financial pay-offs. There seem to be absolutely no acceptance for the unconventional/non-conformists. Life, it appears, is only about adding more moolahs to your wealth by focusing only on monetary aspects of the world. I have been asked quite a lot of times by friends and relatives as to why I have not bought a house yet. It's as if that should be the key aim in life. Get a house, a car, then a bigger house, then a more lavish car. Gosh, where does this all end! Marriages are based on financial status. Sure, money is important. But so much that you become obsessed with it? You forget your human fabric in the quest for financial dreamworld?

My fellow professor beautifully described the virus: It is always about financial and mental strengths. Moral strengths are hardly looked for. So very true. Character and the strength of your values ranks a distant third or fourth may be to your ability to amass more wealth. And then utilise that wealth for things that you never really need or use. And then, propagate the same way of living to every one around you. Crazy.

Why can't someone dance to a music that the world neither hears or understands? Why can't an individual strive to do things that he believes is right? Why must he be always judged on social norms of wealth and assets? Why should the efforts of being a genuine human being not rated as highly as efforts to create wealth? Why must things be loaded on to him without realizing his preference or core beliefs? Why must a person with lesser bank balance be seen as less successful?

The longer these crazy ways of measuring happiness exists, more difficult it would be for the younger lot to create their own set of values. We are pushing them to be stereotypes, to be followers rather than leaders. We help them to learn the tricks of making money but not the ways of growing as human beings. We includes me and I cannot hate myself more for it.

Let me share an incident here. Something that happened few weeks back and will probably chase me for the rest of my life. While returning from my trip to Kerala, a family friend with me had a very heavy bag containing stuff bought from there. They seeked the aid of a railway porter for carrying the bag. The porter who came forward was a visibly weak, 60+ years old person. I could not imagine how he would carry that bag all the way through the long series of stairs. So I offered to carry that bag and give him my light bag to him instead. To that, the family friends and parents asked me not to since it is his job to carry it. I tried to insist but gave it up to avoid creating a scene. And for the next 10-15 minutes, I cursed myself seeing the old man carry that severely heavy bag and struggling for breath. I could have forced others and took the bag myself. I could have not listened to anyone. Instead, I chose to let him carry that bag.

The face of the man and his desperation for the 50Rs. he was doing the work for makes me feel ashamed of my lack of ability to change things around. Rational, educated people look away from such 'trivial' things perhaps. And that is precisely the reason why I am starting to hate the way a lot of us are, more so myself. Selfish, self-centered pigs are all what a lot of us are.


Vishal said...

This reminds me of Mr. JRD Tata. Hv heard tat he once saw an old man pulling a load on a steepish road. Unable to bear the sight of the old man's plight, he got down from his car and assisted him in taking the load to the other side. Kudos. V need persons like him dearly.
Wat u said is true sir, vry true. seldom do ppl nowadays think for others.
Wat i feel is u shd hv been a bit more assertive. Neways make sure u dun repeat it nxt time arnd.

pandemonic scribbles.. said...

Well I think higher the financial status, better the person seems to be in the eyes of the world. And morals/character is measured by a couple of philanthropic cheques. We, the so-called citizens, including me, crib about this and let it go saying the system is at fault. Pathetically true.

who said...

it is good that u thought about that elderly person, very few people do that....
u are feeling very sorry about that person and its obvious.
I m sure next time u can help a person in a better way without any pressure of your family or friends or public at large.
we do learn from our mistakes.

i will do it said...

hello sir,

i can fully understand what are you trying to say. But look in this way, Atleast he is doing work and earning. He is working hard for his stomach. We should be proud for such person. Most of old people beg and fill there stomach. When i wait for local, atleast 2-3 old people come and beg. Its such a pity to watch such scenes. I have to choose everyday and keep remembering to whom i have given money last time and whom to give. Sometimes i thnk why you are giving money to them..they will be encouraged but i just cant see myself saying no to them.
Educated people will say keep on saying No ..practise everyday of saying no and 1 day you will succeed and will not feel pity
Instead of finding solution we try to ignore it. Atleast we have old man who work and feed himself instead of begging. I am proud of such person

Vijeesh said...

Hello Sir
As you said, it is true that money is the only important thing now-a-days. Even marriage,for entering into a relationship the first preference is about the financial position of both the families. What a great period money determines the man (his Aukaad). In Malayalam we say a quote " Panamthinu mugalil Parindu poolum parakila" (Even eagle can't fly above money) and yes in today's scenario, money is what matters. Good luck to all those running behind money but learn one thing a day will come when u will run away from money. Hoping that everything will change around, rather will try to change around.

U No Hoo said...

@i will do it: It's like this, I would not prefer my father to be in his place. So it aches me to see an elderly person do it. When you say that he is earning his own livelihood as against begging, you are comparing it with a worser situation. I am comparing it against an ideal situation where they must be taken care of. We need to do things that are sustainable enough to ensure it happens in the future. Hope you agree.

@others: Thanks for dropping in and commenting. The thought saddens me deeply and I wish to see a world where that does not happen. Sure, we have to change things and soon we will.

i will do it said...

ofcourse i agree with you, they need to be cared and watch by younger ones. Any ideas do you think that can help them. I am willing to listen, discuss and apply.

anirudh said...

hi sir

ur incident reminds me the time when i was with 1 of ma friend at bandstand. we purchased a bottle of slice and were abt to walk a few steps ki a family sitting nearby forced their small may be 3 or 4 yrs daughter to beg it out from us. and she was so desperate to have it. we were playing dog in the bone with her everytime bouncing the bottle to the other side when she comes to 1 of us. it was frustrating to see that but can we as an individual change those things, their mentality? they must be doing it with every indi. they get.

later when we were in train a small girl again may be of 3 or 4 was begging. i told to ma friend ki if being so small she can do such a tough job of begging from every indi. she sees and even after 100 fail attempts ahe does not loose her hope of getting it from the next then we should learn something from them. and if being so small she can do such hard work y cant we. definately i was not telling him to start begging in a bigger scale but atleast we can do some thing good. and am sure even if we try to change such happening its not gonna work just b'caz their family wont support it. neways i dont know wat u may b feeling after reading this but,,,,,

i surely learned 2 things dat day.
1) dont give up watever may b.
2) and obviosly if not helping, we should atleast not insult them b'caz they r doing their job. ( wat so ever it may be)

once my school teacher told us in a lecture ki dont ever shy doing things u r doing. be proud ki atkeast u got an opportunity to do. try to change wrong things around u. dont change according and shape urself to accept it.

i will do it said...


I agree with you that we should not insult them and try to change things. But we all discussing only problems but not providing any solution.Begging has become business for many powerful people. So how we can stop them? One solution i can provide is that to beat big and powerful people we need to become big and powerful and thats what i am trying to do. I dont when i will successful with that, how many years will take..but i am atleast trying.
Biggest question and problem is how to stop corruption? bcoz it has increased like a disease and nearly every problem will be solved if we can stop corruption

anirudh said...

very true sir,.,..,.,, agree with u.,..,,.,.

Komal Bhole said...

The world as it calls itself rational and professional doesnot differentiate between good and evil, ethical and unethical. Today, unlike in the old days when people were categorised into caste the trend is moving towards categorising the persons with the wealth they possess. Its no bad to have ur own home, car and luxuries in life till ur conscience knows that these things were not purchased by burdening the society around u. Indeed being a good human being matters to people around u, u ll b remembered for that when u ll not exist, moreover it gives u a sense of satisfaction of being different from the individuals around u.

Nitin kungwani said...

I had encountered such a situation too. Where i couldn't see an old man lifting that burden.
Felt sad. Helpless !

You have said in an earlier comment "I am comparing it against an ideal situation where they must be taken care of "

The thing i could make out : He was doing it for his own well being. Had to do something to earn.

Denying his help to carry the burden and not paying him would be like kicking on his stomach. At the same time we cannot go on distributing money for free out of pity..

The mere memory of that incident still makes me resume this thought.. !!