No, I'm not veering towards what the title would suggest. I am talking of some froth we create in our minds - consciously or sub-consciously. Over the last few weeks, I have been audience to few incidents that had the same underlying theme - the disappointment of expectations not being met. Let me take few general instances here:
First: A die-hard fan of a mega superstar, who likes the star madly, desiring to meet him, goes and stands outside his house everyday from 5am till the sun decides to call it a day. Even after 10 such days of wait, the mega superstar does not turn up to meet the die-hard fan, who is presumably his greatest fan. The dejected fan goes back home and vows never to worship his hero who broke his hopes and dreams so brutally and heartlessly.
Second: A boy deeply loves a girl. He expresses his love to her. He is very sweet to her and takes good care of the girl. He wishes all the happiness in the world for the girl. He desires to marry her and keep her happy, always and forever. The girl, however, does not wish to marry him. Reasons? Irrelevant here. The boy is dejected. He feels cheated. He goes down hard on the girl and thinks of her as a heartless, brutal person who has no respect for other's feelings.
Third: A young married couple wishes the joy of parenting and wishes to bring a little bundle of joy to their lives. A baby is born to them. They are extremely delighted to have value and purpose added to their lives. The baby is well taken care of. The husband quits his job to be able to be with the growing baby who needs to be nurtured. The baby grows to become a very able adult and the parents are proud of her. She falls in love with a guy and wishes to marry him. She conveys the same to her parents. The parents are dejected and feel betrayed. Their hopes have been shattered by their daughter for whom they made so many sacrifices over many years. They decide not to be with the girl in this decision and makes it very clear that the day she marries the guy, she is out of their lives. Why? Because she is heartless and brutal who does not take care of her parents' wishes and expectations.
What is common among the three instances? Expectations have been broken. Desires have been left unfulfilled. Well, hard luck. Yeah, it is a simple case of hard luck. It is utter nonsense to put the blame on the superstar/girl/child for the state of mind of the fan/boy/parents. Sounds harsh? Well, so be it. If I expect something from someone, it is MY problem and not the other person's. Why should the other person accomodate your expectations if he/she is not happy doing it? If they are not able to see your viewpoint, fair enough. Different people dances to different music in this world. If they do not like your music, hard luck. Accept it and move on. Stop feeding sympathy to yourselves. Do it if you feel so, but do not hold the other person responsible. It is your problem and you must be the one who should take care of it.
The more unfortunate factor in all these instances is that the fan/boy/parents apparently love the superstar/girl/daughter. Unconditional love, they boast! Such unconditional love that their expectations comes much before the other person's happiness. Amazing love indeed.
To all the parents in this world, your children have a life and mind of their own. Accept it. Be with them if you indeed love them.
To all the lovers in this world, the person you love may not be be happy loving you. Accept it. Be with him/her if you indeed love him/her.
Accept things. Stop fantasizing. Everything we do for others are only because they make us happy. Everytime. Let us accept that we are selfish. Let us stop blaming others for breaking your expectations from them. Sure, feel bad that your expectations have been shattered. But do not hold anybody else responsible for it.