December 21, 2009
December 20, 2009
More on love
As a comment to my last post, I was asked by PS: "So is true love the same as unconditional love? If yes, how do you relate this post with an equally striking post of yours on unconditional love?" Thought, would reply to it as a separate post.
Firstly, I do not subscribe to the idea of unconditional love. I believe human beings are too complex a creature to do something selflessly keeping his own happiness at stake. A one-off act could be seen, but loving is hardly a short-term act. So to love without keeping his own interest in mind is too improbable. If I am in a relationship, I am in it for my own sake. So is the other person. When such self-centered interests gel with one another, it creates a lasting fulfilling relationship.
Why do I admire the man shown in the video then? It's not because I thought he was doing a selfless act or was loving unconditionally. The admiration comes from the fact that his happiness does not come by being associated with a charming outwardly good-looking girl who is highly educated, well presentable and someone who can add some 'status' to his life. I was amazed by his source of happiness. He has been able to remain content by spending ample time with the girl he loves, though she cannot reciprocate in a way most of us would expect in a relationship. Her well-being being the key factor determining his happiness is a rare sight, especially with her having gone through an unfortunate accident. That is what made me feel good about what he was doing.
Hypothetically, if he were to come upto me and talk of how much sacrifice he is doing to be with her and how he has kept his self-interest aside to take care of her, I would lose a large part of my admiration for him. What I appreciate is an acceptance that someone is in a particular situation in life because he wants to be in it. If someone starts to package it like a selfless, unconditional act, I would laugh my heart out.
So what I am effectively saying is, if Mr.A is in love with a good looking, 'socially acceptable' girl and Mr.B with someone like in the video, I would not respect B more than A for him being selfless. I would rather respect the make of his heart/soul that chooses to remain happy with something like what he is doing. Fact is, both are in the relationship because that is what makes them feel good and happy. The day that ceases, they would walk out citing one or the other reason. Rather, they should or else the relationship becomes burdensome.
Firstly, I do not subscribe to the idea of unconditional love. I believe human beings are too complex a creature to do something selflessly keeping his own happiness at stake. A one-off act could be seen, but loving is hardly a short-term act. So to love without keeping his own interest in mind is too improbable. If I am in a relationship, I am in it for my own sake. So is the other person. When such self-centered interests gel with one another, it creates a lasting fulfilling relationship.
Why do I admire the man shown in the video then? It's not because I thought he was doing a selfless act or was loving unconditionally. The admiration comes from the fact that his happiness does not come by being associated with a charming outwardly good-looking girl who is highly educated, well presentable and someone who can add some 'status' to his life. I was amazed by his source of happiness. He has been able to remain content by spending ample time with the girl he loves, though she cannot reciprocate in a way most of us would expect in a relationship. Her well-being being the key factor determining his happiness is a rare sight, especially with her having gone through an unfortunate accident. That is what made me feel good about what he was doing.
Hypothetically, if he were to come upto me and talk of how much sacrifice he is doing to be with her and how he has kept his self-interest aside to take care of her, I would lose a large part of my admiration for him. What I appreciate is an acceptance that someone is in a particular situation in life because he wants to be in it. If someone starts to package it like a selfless, unconditional act, I would laugh my heart out.
So what I am effectively saying is, if Mr.A is in love with a good looking, 'socially acceptable' girl and Mr.B with someone like in the video, I would not respect B more than A for him being selfless. I would rather respect the make of his heart/soul that chooses to remain happy with something like what he is doing. Fact is, both are in the relationship because that is what makes them feel good and happy. The day that ceases, they would walk out citing one or the other reason. Rather, they should or else the relationship becomes burdensome.
P.S.1: Purely my thoughts. Don't have to be subscribed to! :)
P.S.2: I have no intention to demean the girl in the video. I do not mean that she is inferior in any way to a 'normal' girl.
December 18, 2009
True love
I have been a very firm believer in giving everything into a relationship with a person you truly, genuinely love. The concept of 'true love' itself is something I have thought about a lot. Infact, I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that giving a public talk on love is a dream I cherish. I cringe to see so many couples around who think they are in love. In most of such cases, they are in a relationship for the sake of it. A small argument or a difference of opinion can bring their egos to the forefront shattering the perceived love between them. For all those of you who think they are in love, I call you upon to watch this amazing display of extreme love and affection. Can you beat the love of this guy?
Sure, love isn't a war or a competition to win or beat. Yet, I am truly spellbound having seen this video. Hats off to him for showing me and many like me the way to love.
For me, there is no better definition of true love than to do everything possible to make your partner happy AND still feel content & blissful yourself and not feel burdened. The second part of the statement is as important as the first, if not more.
Sure, love isn't a war or a competition to win or beat. Yet, I am truly spellbound having seen this video. Hats off to him for showing me and many like me the way to love.
For me, there is no better definition of true love than to do everything possible to make your partner happy AND still feel content & blissful yourself and not feel burdened. The second part of the statement is as important as the first, if not more.
What the heck!
Reading this made me furious today. Are we joking? Are we in some dreamland?? Ridiculous!!!
Passion
Passion & Attitude are two qualities, I believe, maketh a man. I am almost addicted to talking about both of them in my lectures where I interact with a lot of supremely able minds and hard working students. For me, talent and ability matters less that passion and attitude. This post is not about their relevance.
When I look into my life today, with whatever I have and I don't, one thing that characterizes me these days is the lack of passion for anything. Strange yet true. Nothing, and I mean nothing, really incites me to be enthusiastic about. Events, people, work, matter, pleasure, sports, books. Nothing!
I am not mentioning this in a complaining/unhappy manner. It is just an observation of a strange phase. As much as I feel it's crucial, I am seeing myself without it. Any negatives? Well, just that the emotions are never too extreme in this phase. Never too happy, nor too down. The volatility of mood is lower. Mind is still.
As an aside, had been to a superb concert last night. It was truly blissful to see/listen to some extremely talented musicians performing together - Zakir Hussain, Shankar Mahadevan, Sivamani, U Shrinivas and Selvaganesh.
When I look into my life today, with whatever I have and I don't, one thing that characterizes me these days is the lack of passion for anything. Strange yet true. Nothing, and I mean nothing, really incites me to be enthusiastic about. Events, people, work, matter, pleasure, sports, books. Nothing!
I am not mentioning this in a complaining/unhappy manner. It is just an observation of a strange phase. As much as I feel it's crucial, I am seeing myself without it. Any negatives? Well, just that the emotions are never too extreme in this phase. Never too happy, nor too down. The volatility of mood is lower. Mind is still.
As an aside, had been to a superb concert last night. It was truly blissful to see/listen to some extremely talented musicians performing together - Zakir Hussain, Shankar Mahadevan, Sivamani, U Shrinivas and Selvaganesh.
December 13, 2009
shaurya kya hai
shaurya kya hai
thartharati is dharti ko raungati faujiyo ki ik paltan ka shor
ya sehame se aasman ko chirata huwa, banduko ki salaami ka shor
shaurya kya hai, hari wardi par chamakate huye chand pital ki sitare
ya sarhad ka naam dekar andekhi kuchh lakiro ki numaish
shaurya kya hai
dur udate khamosh parinde ko goliyo se bhun dene ka ehsaas
ya sholo ki barsat se pal bhar mein ek sehar ko shamshan bana dene ka eshaas
shaurya, shayad ek hosla, shayad ek himmat, hamare bohot ander
majhab ke banaye daayare tod kar, kisika haath tham lene ki himmat
goliyo ki betahsha shor ko apni khamoshi se chunoti de pane ki himmat
marti maarti is duniya mein nihatte datte rehne ki himmat
shaurya, aane wale kal ki khatir
apne hisse ki kaynat ko, aaj bacha lene ki himmat
shaurya kya hai
An extract from a poem penned by Javed Akhtar, recited by Shahrukh Khan for the movie Shaurya.
thartharati is dharti ko raungati faujiyo ki ik paltan ka shor
ya sehame se aasman ko chirata huwa, banduko ki salaami ka shor
shaurya kya hai, hari wardi par chamakate huye chand pital ki sitare
ya sarhad ka naam dekar andekhi kuchh lakiro ki numaish
shaurya kya hai
dur udate khamosh parinde ko goliyo se bhun dene ka ehsaas
ya sholo ki barsat se pal bhar mein ek sehar ko shamshan bana dene ka eshaas
shaurya, shayad ek hosla, shayad ek himmat, hamare bohot ander
majhab ke banaye daayare tod kar, kisika haath tham lene ki himmat
goliyo ki betahsha shor ko apni khamoshi se chunoti de pane ki himmat
marti maarti is duniya mein nihatte datte rehne ki himmat
shaurya, aane wale kal ki khatir
apne hisse ki kaynat ko, aaj bacha lene ki himmat
shaurya kya hai
An extract from a poem penned by Javed Akhtar, recited by Shahrukh Khan for the movie Shaurya.
December 11, 2009
Funny lines in hoardings/sign boards
Lack of punctuations can make mockery of a normal statement. Hope a friend of mine reads this 'coz he surely needs it :D
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Outside a London second-hand shop
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list around the world :
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors clinic, Rome
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
By the way, received this as a forwarded mail!
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Outside a London second-hand shop
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list around the world :
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,
GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors clinic, Rome
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
By the way, received this as a forwarded mail!
December 8, 2009
Funny Oxymorons
1. Clearly misunderstood
2. Exact estimate
3. Small crowd
4. Act naturally
5. Found missing
6. Fully empty
And the mother of all:
Happily Married
:)
2. Exact estimate
3. Small crowd
4. Act naturally
5. Found missing
6. Fully empty
And the mother of all:
Happily Married
:)
November 29, 2009
Fed up
I am fed up of the money mindedness of the world around me. Everything begins and ends with monetary considerations. Decisions relating to education, career, marriage, relationships, future - all are linked primarily to financial pay-offs. There seem to be absolutely no acceptance for the unconventional/non-conformists. Life, it appears, is only about adding more moolahs to your wealth by focusing only on monetary aspects of the world. I have been asked quite a lot of times by friends and relatives as to why I have not bought a house yet. It's as if that should be the key aim in life. Get a house, a car, then a bigger house, then a more lavish car. Gosh, where does this all end! Marriages are based on financial status. Sure, money is important. But so much that you become obsessed with it? You forget your human fabric in the quest for financial dreamworld?
My fellow professor beautifully described the virus: It is always about financial and mental strengths. Moral strengths are hardly looked for. So very true. Character and the strength of your values ranks a distant third or fourth may be to your ability to amass more wealth. And then utilise that wealth for things that you never really need or use. And then, propagate the same way of living to every one around you. Crazy.
Why can't someone dance to a music that the world neither hears or understands? Why can't an individual strive to do things that he believes is right? Why must he be always judged on social norms of wealth and assets? Why should the efforts of being a genuine human being not rated as highly as efforts to create wealth? Why must things be loaded on to him without realizing his preference or core beliefs? Why must a person with lesser bank balance be seen as less successful?
The longer these crazy ways of measuring happiness exists, more difficult it would be for the younger lot to create their own set of values. We are pushing them to be stereotypes, to be followers rather than leaders. We help them to learn the tricks of making money but not the ways of growing as human beings. We includes me and I cannot hate myself more for it.
Let me share an incident here. Something that happened few weeks back and will probably chase me for the rest of my life. While returning from my trip to Kerala, a family friend with me had a very heavy bag containing stuff bought from there. They seeked the aid of a railway porter for carrying the bag. The porter who came forward was a visibly weak, 60+ years old person. I could not imagine how he would carry that bag all the way through the long series of stairs. So I offered to carry that bag and give him my light bag to him instead. To that, the family friends and parents asked me not to since it is his job to carry it. I tried to insist but gave it up to avoid creating a scene. And for the next 10-15 minutes, I cursed myself seeing the old man carry that severely heavy bag and struggling for breath. I could have forced others and took the bag myself. I could have not listened to anyone. Instead, I chose to let him carry that bag.
The face of the man and his desperation for the 50Rs. he was doing the work for makes me feel ashamed of my lack of ability to change things around. Rational, educated people look away from such 'trivial' things perhaps. And that is precisely the reason why I am starting to hate the way a lot of us are, more so myself. Selfish, self-centered pigs are all what a lot of us are.
November 22, 2009
Quote of the day
Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan's father quoted in Times of India:
People want a Bhagat Singh, but in a neighbour's house.
How apt and true! Pretty much the reason why the world at large have issues that needs to be sorted but have not been. We all believe somebody else should do the needful.
People want a Bhagat Singh, but in a neighbour's house.
How apt and true! Pretty much the reason why the world at large have issues that needs to be sorted but have not been. We all believe somebody else should do the needful.
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