Next is what?

When we play video games, there are times we get stuck at one level without knowing how to go to the next level. That's always fun, the pursuit of the door to the next level. However, things get boring when you are not sure what the next level is, forget about how to reach there.

I am stuck in this phase in a game we call life. I have crossed many levels and it has been an exciting game. But now, I feel stuck. I cannot see the next level and hence obviously the way to get there. Sure, there has to be some next level in this game. Till I see it, I roam around at this level. And since I know this level quite well now, it is a boring stagnant phase.

Conventional wisdom would suggest that I get married and that is the next logical level in this game. Well, if I were conventional I would not have been here at the first place. So, that is surely not the level I want to jump to. There has to be something else.

Next is what, I wonder!

Hyderabad and it's cuisines

I was in Hyderabad for the last 2 days. While there, I was recommended to try out their Ramadan special cuisines. As in my nature I gave it a shot. What I ordered for dinner (and I was told it would be full enough for me) was Hyderabadi Haleem and Kubani ka meetha. Haleem is a special thingie made out of mutton meat and it takes about 10 hours to make the best Haleem. During Ramadan, muslims break their fast be eating the high-calorie Haleem. There are quite a lot of stalls selling Haleem in Hyderabad during Ramadan days as I could see. I guess it would be available in other parts of the country too. It is more like a paste of micro-grinded meat. Kubani ka meetha is a sweet-dish made primarily with apricots/dates. I did not like either of it. The tastes were very distinct from what my taste buds generally experience and like. I had to order something less exotic (butter naan and chicken kadai) to satiate my hunger eventually.

I'm back home to more familiar idli sambar!

Brilliant!

Thought provoking indeed!

Flash of violence

I cannot stand violence. Not that I do anything to stop it when I see one. What I mean is I become extremely uncomfortbale to see someone being beaten up on streets or a physical fight. It is as if I am involved in it. It's actually quite eery the way I get affected by the entire incident. It stays on my mind for a while with a bad after-taste. Always been so, though logically I should remain unaffected. I saw a guy being beaten up by a group of four on the streets the other day. It was pretty bad. As in such cases, nobody had any real clue of what had transpired leading up to the fight. Four on one is outright imbalance. Irrespective of what the victim had done, violence should not be resorted to. Somehow the thought does not go into my system easily.

Personally, I have almost never been involved in a physical fight. I have had fights with cousins as a kid but never after I have 'matured'. Sure, I am not a 6'3" giant who can get on top of any body. So one clear reason why I would not believe it is smart to try and 'beat around'. Would my take on violence be different if I was indeed a macho stud? Not sure. Don't think so actually. About being macho, never understood the hype about looking a stud and having a great physique over which girls would drool. Again, may be because I don't match this description. But that's hardly true. One could try and work towards 'style' I guess. I have never tried. never would.

I have always carried the image of a softie-softie guy. Right from my school days. The emotional metro-sexual guy if it sounds savvy :) In fact, a friend's testimonial in my Orkut profile has this mention about me being called a 'baby' by a girl in college. Not in the romantic sense of that term but more like a 'cho-chweet-you-are'! And when a girl says that to you, she won't touch you with a barge pole! During those days, I used to dress pathetically and carry myself oddly. Actually, I'm still the same to a large extent, isn't it? So, those days, for a girl to choose me to 'date' (whatever that term actually means - never understood it) would have been improbable.

I remember an interesting incident from my college days that I must share here. I was in First Year B'com back then. On one of those stupid sham-days of college life called 'Friendship Day', a girl wanted to befriend me. Tying a band/writing her name on my palm was how friendships worked! I was one of the few students who had cleared CA Entrance exams in my college, so that explains why someone would venture doing something like what she did. 'Perceived' intelligence has always been an ever-green quality, right? Any way, so after the 'Day' you tend to talk and interact with your 'new friends' and so was the case between me and her. I had no clue what we were talking for. It seemed too forced. So after a couple of days, as we are talking (rather trying to talk something that made sense), a stud walks up to me. Checks me out. Gives a wry smile. Asks the girl to leave. Looks at me. No, actually stares. Keeps staring. Throws off attitude. Puts a hand on my shoulder and blurts something out, something that went like this: 'Dude, you are a kiddo. Be like one. The girl you are talking to is my chaavi (a dirty-sounding word that vaguely means girlfriend). I don't like her talking to you. What are you doing with her? Do not try to play smart and hook her up. It won't be good for you. You won't even know how and where you get beaten up. It would be better if you stay away from her and leave her for me.'

I guess he expected me to go macho and threaten to beat him up and some mumbo-jumbo like that. Where as, I am like why is he saying all this to me! So I reply, almost smiling, 'Well sure Sire.. all yours!' His expression in return reflected he missed a chance to start-off a brawl.

A similar scene in a bollywood movie would have had the hero in my place reply - 'Dude, I never wanted to hook her. Now since you are asking me not to, I will. I want to see what you do.' :)) My interactions with the girl continued till the 'Friendship Day' thingie fizzed out. I hope he eventually got to marry her :D

P.S. 1: Did you notice that one of the purposes of posting this piece is to tell the world that I have testimonials in Orkut? :P :))

P.S. 2: One of my friends from the fairer sex tells me that girls drool over softie guys these days. Wow, am so happy :))))

P.S. 3: Informed readers who knows me reasonably well must know which parts of this post to be taken seriously!

The poll's closed

I have closed the poll. The final set of results looked like this:
Yes and I am your student: 5 (7%)
No and I am your student: 54 (76%)
Yes and I am NOT your student: 1 (1%)
No and I am NOT your student: 11 (15%)

Thanks to every one who took the time and effort to opine with a vote and their comment. I am glad that the majority is okay with my posts. Of course, I do consider that the minority's views are important too. I can only say that I don't think of posting 'objectionable' stuff for the heck of it. I do it if i strongly feel it must be shared for a larger good and purpose. Most of my posts are in any case random musings with nothing core in it :-)

As a side thought, I'm particularly surprised that about 60 of my students track my blog actively. I did not think the number would be this high. No, nothing about it. Just an observation.

Thanks again for the feedbacks. More importantly, for reading and visiting this page.

Keep smiling :)

All shades of grey

Why are most of the relationships so complicated most of the times? None are ever in shades of white or black. They are all gray most times. Why does it take so much efforts to keep a relationship going? Why can it not be a simpler process? Does the presence of two different human beings make it such? Is it the expectations that kill the charm of a relationship? Or is it the lack of expectations beyond a point? Does all relationships go through swinging cycles of peaks and lulls? How difficult is to live without many relationships to entangle you? For that matter, do relationships not entangle you? If not always, most times? And those most times, don't they kill the joy of the few times it does not?

These are not mere questions. Mere musings.

Your opinion matters!

A very close friend of mine thought that it was awkward to read my last post about using condoms to prevent AIDS. Basically, he said this in the context that I am also a teacher and my students will find it odd that their teacher is writing about things that are considered to be taboo in our society.

This made me think about whether I must be conscious about these things keeping in mind that some of my students also read my blog regularly. Should I refrain from writing about issues that are generally considered a taboo since coming from a teacher (who in our society is looked up to as a parent), it can make the student feel awkward? Or do I blog keeping my 'teacher' avatar separate from me the individual? Are these roles separable in the eyes of a student?

So, to get a real sense on this issue, I am creating an opinion poll for you to tell me what you think about this matter. Be honest in replying and feel free to add your comments. Quite obviously, the opinion of my student-readers matter the most! Also, add your comment separately to this post if you are my student!! It will help me in knowing your views better. There are separate options if you are a student and if you are a non-student reader - will help the analysis better.

Waiting for your thoughts!

Dry humor

Few thousand deaths by Swine Flu results in people romaing around wearing masks as protection. Still, many million deaths by AIDS do not result in many using condoms. What irony!

Sick!

Some men get an ego-boost by how much he can dominate his wife and how much she would keep giving in to his stupid orders/thoughts. Sick men. Please grow up guys.

Can love be unconditional?

Is the term 'unconditional love' an over-hyped cliché? Here, I have re-framed another question that I have been asked a couple of times - Do I believe that Ajay Devgan's character in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam is a realistic one?

In this context, 'Unconditional' refers to 'Selfless', perhaps. If that is so, I cannot disagree more on the concept! For, there is no such term as 'Selfless' as far as I am concerned. Every single thing that we do since the day we are born till the moment we die are always self-centered. At times, some of these acts also helps somebody else or society at large. But that does not change the fact that you did it because you cherished doing it or simply put, you wanted to do it.

Using the same principle, even love cannot be unconditional. What we might call selfless is the ability of a person to keep the partner's interests and likings above his. Each day, each moment, each time. This, obviously, is not easy. Yet possible. And to my mind, one of the most necessary ingredients to love someone 'selflessly' is a sense of very deep and strong self-love. If you cannot love yourself strongly and genuinely, you cannot love your partner genuinely either. Sure, you will do things to make her happy and please her and call it 'love for her'. Well, that's just a deception. What you basically need is her approval of you as a person and lot of acknowledgements of how amazing a person you are. This type of 'unconditonal love' will evaporate the moment she says/does something that is against your desire or hurts your ego.

On the other hand, if you are in a relationship with her without a need of re-assurance about your own self, then the only thing that you are really bothered about is how much more value can you add to her life and soul, how much more happiness could you give her, how much more of her real self can you help her discover. Now, is this being more 'selfless' than the earlier case? Kind of. Since you were always a content/happy person before you entered the relationship, the only reason you might have opted for it is with a belief that you could keep your partner really happy and joyful. This, the world perhaps believe, is selfless. I do not. Because if you are not enjoying the process, you would not be doing it. If that is the case, it cannot be unconditional. Here the condition is that you must feel the joy of her being happy. Being unconditional does not just mean you do not expect your partner to do something for you.

The character in HDDCS is indeed a realistic one because he too has shades of selfishness. If the character would have forced his wife to stay with him and not attempt to find the person she loves (and that would be against his own wishes), then he is doing that to please his parents and the society at large. That, surely, is a more selfless act than what the character actually did!

Finally, after all this, the most obvious question: Would I do what the character did? Well, rather than me saying anything, I sincerely hope (somewhere down my heart, I know) that there are a handful of people in this world who truly believe that I would indeed do so. Reason being I'm one of the most selfish person that one could come across. Simple enough.