April 14, 2009

Such is life!

Today's Vishu. New Year for us. Has always been a special day for me among all other festivals. The younger lot of the family receive Vishukaineetam from the elders on this day. We are not celebrating it this time because my mom's elder brother expired in October. A death cannot be more shocking than his. He went to office, came back, had dinner and slept forever. To be frank, I still cannot imagine many times that he is not around us anymore. If we thought this shock was something that will take time to be absorbed, He had some other plans for us.

On April 9, I was having a web-chat with my maternal cousin who serves the country being in Indian Air Force. He asked about how my dad is doing after a surgery that he underwent last week. He told me that he is flying down to Mumbai on the 10th night and he will be coming home to meet my dad. Well, meet we did. But on the unlucky 13th. There was a small change in the setup too. We all met him at his house after his dad, my mom's second brother, had an untimely sudden death.

He was not flying down to Mumbai on leave because his dad was unwell, as the above turn of events might suggest. My uncle was doing well and my cousin was coming to be besides his wife as she delivered a baby. The baby boy saw the light of this world on the 11th. As one would imagine, he was one happy soul. Till the next day when my uncle developed some breathing trouble and had to be hospitalised. After few hours, he left for his heavenly abode on 13th. Can you experience a more stark bout of mixed emotions in your life as my cousin is going through? Between a new-born baby and an extremely supportive dad lost in the inevitable meeting with death. The grand father did not see the new-born. Or did he come into this world as the grandson? As they say, child is the father of man. Though not what it is meant to suggest, the saying quite literally fits here.

The way I see it is that my uncle timed his exit perfectly to try and erase whatever little pain he could with the new-born around his son. A baby's innocent and vibrant smile can heal many a wounds.

I wrote about death few days back. I never imagined even remotely that it was a feeling that I was going to experience this soon. How I wish this was not real. But as I said even then, reality just is.

A man who went to the holy Sabarimala for more than 40 years, my uncle I guess knew he was being called for by Him. He spoke to almost every one whom he loved over the last week. He told someone he was going to leave this world on 13th. On that day, he asked the doc the time twice before going back again to a semi-conscious state. The third time he asked, he smiled to the reply and he went to sleep for ever. He probably also knew the time he was supposed to leave.

On both occasions, we did not realize that when we last met them, that it was the last time we were seeing them. When someone's ill and bed-ridden, you start to factor in the inevitable. Not when a person is walking now and is no more few hours later.

Such is life! I cannot dare to think that life is even close to predictable after all this. Today's Vishu and Kuttimama has always been one of the firsts to visit home this day and give us the Vishukaineetam.

This one's for you Ammama and Kuttimama. We will miss you.

P.S.: I do not wish to receive any condolences/emotional replies on this post. Please. I am doing very fine. The reasons why I posted about this does not include anything to do with my/our sorrow.

8 comments:

nivedithasperceptions said...

I'm sorry, I understand how it feels, I've nothing more to say :)

Someone, u no ;) said...

...

shilpa said...

Hmmm..........what to say?????????

Insearch said...

Hi,

Happened to be here by chance. Nice thoughts. Never knew this side of you. ....restless mind, Hmmm. I think I know the reason. Frankly, I had a similar problem, about 14-15 years ago. I am guessing it is the same. You know the feeling. That there's more to life & things than what you see or know. A thirst to find that. Tried a few things then. Different religions was one. Infact, the standing joke among my group is - what are you today? As in which faith I belong to. Anyways, its more settled now. The restlessness I mean. Have been walking the path, if you know what I mean. Or rather I should say trying to walk it. Extremely difficult you know. Distractions are a plenty & in every step.

Anyway, saw your post & realised that you are asking a few pertinent questions to yourself. Can be confusing at times, I know. These are your first steps I think. It is man's eternal quest.

Mostly we are tied down by conformity in our society. It is difficult to be different. But see thru the ages, people who have dared to be different have made a difference. Keep at it. All the best. God bless.

U No Hoo said...

Thanks. May I know who is this? The thoughts seem very 'known' if I could say that way.

Insearch said...

Hi Restless One,

If by'known' you mean that you know me, then you do. But not well enough & not at this wavelength.

If you are alluding to my thought process, I do not claim to be a know-all at this point. I am only starting to learn. These are but my initial steps at the true fount of education.

As for you wanting to know who this is, it is better this way. Sometimes one connects more with a stranger who understands than with a known face. Let it remain at that.

I read thru your musings & could identify with your problems (if I am allowed to say that) regarding religion etc. I was branded an atheist too initially. That is not just because they do not understand your approach. It is also because we are 'militant' with our approach because we know it to be true & why can't every one see it. I used to react with - "I am more religious than you will ever know". But then over time realised that those close to us mean well according to their understanding.
Like your - "wait till someone asks me again about marriage" statement for example. I understand where you are coming from. Point is, they mean well & that is a way of exchanging pleasantries for them & to show that they care. 'Forgive them their sins, for they do not know what they do'. That is what Jesus prayed in the end but so relevant here.

Just trying to help with your restlessness. Not that you need any. Just that when it was my turn, there was nobody & it was a long & lonely struggle fraught with mishaps & do not want the same for you. Just one more somebody who means well. Take care & god bless.

Manish said...

Hi,

This is the best way you could have explained your emotions. I am proud that you have grown very much and very fast. In your thoughts and actions. You will do our family very proud!!

Rgds-Manuettan

U No Hoo said...

Thanks Manuetta. Really appreciate this. I am not very get in expressive generally and this is my space to let it out.